


build a bucky-bear

by CaptainJimothyCarter



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Bobbi Morse [mentioned], Bucky Barnes Recovering, Captain Falcon - Freeform, Clint is a sap, Deaf Clint Barton, Dorks in Love, Fluff, Gift Giving, Idiots in Love, It'll make you cry too, Kate Bishop [mentioned], M/M, Mutual Pining, Natasha Romanov [mentioned], Non cannon AU, Romantic Fluff, Short One Shot, Stubborn Bucky, Teddy Bears, Weird Fluff, brief steve/sam interaction, bucky is a sap, clint wants a dog, clintbucky - Freeform, stevesam - Freeform, this made me cry, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:00:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23541208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJimothyCarter/pseuds/CaptainJimothyCarter
Summary: Just remember, squeeze the bear, okay? I’ll be back soon. We can even watch Tangled when I’m home. And I won’t complain when you sing along or /insist/ its the best Disney movie when obviously its Brave. CBorClint has to leave his new unofficial roommate / crush for an entire week while he's on a mission for SHIELD, so he leaves Bucky a teddy bear in his place.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Comments: 19
Kudos: 134





	build a bucky-bear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [trashkingtater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashkingtater/gifts).



> This one-shot is dedicated to one of my best friends who got me on a winterhawk train and I'm afraid I aint ever getting off.

“Clint, what part of me looks like I  _ wanted  _ a plushie?” Bucky asked, holding the black gift bag by its little twill handles like it was a ticking time bomb. Pinched between his index and thumb and far away from his face as much as possible.   
  
Right, it was Clint on good days, Barton on semi-good days, and on his bad days, Bucky didn’t speak at all. When he had those rare really, really good days, Bucky was all about nicknames. When he called him Barton, he seemed to be seeking semi-authority, where Clint would be forced to not exactly tell the once dangerous assassin what to do, but give him more of a guidance. And on his worst days, it required the help of both Sam and Steve to get Bucky to at least eat and shower.    
  
Thankfully those were far and few in between.   
  
The blonde archer’s shoulders shrugged as he looked up at Bucky with a half interested thought before turning his attention back to the half-packed duffel bag laid out on the bed. “I dunno. Thought you could use a companion while I’m gone since y’know you’re allergic to dogs. Besides, I got him especially for you. You haven’t even  _ looked  _ at him, so you can’t say you hate it.” He hated the man’s unnatural talent of being able to guess a present. Christmas was a nightmare with this asshole.   
  
“Gone? You’ll only be gone a week not a- “ Clint pretended not to notice the way his brows pinched ever so slightly the way they did when he was starting to get nervous.   
  
“This will be the longest I’ve been gone since you became my unofficial roommate.” Bucky did make a face this time. It wasn’t like he chose to live here. He just...sorta never went home and was slowly moving his stuff into Clint’s empty bedroom since Kate moved out.   
  
“ _ And, _ ” the assassin continued like he wasn’t interrupted. “You’re making me stay with Sam since Steve will be with you. I don’t need...some stuffed toy for company.”   
  
“You will, because by day three you’ll miss me, regardless if you’re gonna admit that or not. Now will you just look at the toy, you bastard? This is the last time I do something nice for ya.”   
  
Childishly, Bucky stuck his tongue out at Clint while he zipped up the duffel bag. He tried not to look at it or his own bag by the door. He tried not to think of how Clint will be gone on some SHIELD mission for a whole entire week. Radio silence. He didn’t like how nervous that made him feel. It wasn’t like he  _ liked  _ Clint or anything. He just...would miss his company.    
  
That stupid dorky smile he got when something  _ really  _ made him happy. The way he could rest his head on top of his while getting his morning coffee around Bucky. That stupid laugh he did when something funny was on TV. Or how he seemed to be obsessed with dogs. And how late at night, when he couldn’t sleep and Clint was having a bad night as well, he’ll pull the man away from designing some new arrow [ _ ‘boomerang arrow, Barnes! Life changing’ _ ], Bucky would drag them both to the couch, throw on some shitty late-night cartoons, a heavy blanket and they’d both find their way to actually getting some sleep.    
  
“Are you just gonna stand there…?” Clint sighed, marching up to Bucky. He rolled his sky blue eyes and took the bag from Bucky’s fingers, pulling a teddy bear out. “His name is Jamie. I got him at the  _ Build A Bear  _ when I went with Kate and Bobbi last week. He….even says something when you squeeze the heart, but don’t squeeze it until I’m gone and until you miss me okay?  _ Promise?” _   
  
The bear was….fuck, adorable. Clint knew Bucky had a fondness for soft things because it felt nice against his scarred skin. And this bear was over the top soft with bright blue plastic, sparkling eyes. They almost look like stars swirling around a blue ocean. It was wearing a gray Avengers t-shirt that made him want to roll his eyes. Yet the key detail besides the bow and quiver on the bear’s back was the very fact that it looked like someone had hand stitched silver, shimmering fabric on the bear’s left arm and made the world’s smallest red star to barely fit on the arm.    
  
Bucky found himself blinking back tears and clearing his throat. This close, he could smell Clint’s aftershave of sandalwood and the bear’s lavender scent. Clint knew he liked lavender, he liked the soft, floral smelling stuff. He was the reason Clint stopped wearing that horrible fucking after shave that just burned his nose more than had a smell. He smelled better for it.   
  
And really, he knew those stitches anywhere, considering he’s watched Clint attempt to stitch up his own wounds when he was desperately avoiding having to go to the medical bay.    
  
“Can you be anymore of a sap?” Bucky asked, thankful when Clint pretended to be busy counting his weapons while he cleaned his face off. “You think I need a bear because I’m gonna miss ya? I ain’t gonna miss ya. You’re gonna miss me.”   
  
Clint shot that trademark shit-eating grin over his shoulder as he shouldered his bag and gripped it in a tight grip. The white was showing on his knuckles, one trademark of a nervous Clint Barton. He did the same when he was having bad days. “Oh, I know I’m gonna miss ya. Now c’mere, gotta go.”    
  
Clint’s hugs were one of the best things in the world, not that Bucky would ever admit that out loud. Still, he felt comfortable in the man’s arms. For once, he felt safe in a manner that he couldn’t explain. He didn’t have to look over his shoulder constantly. He knew Clint had his back. He found comfort in them, in a different manner he couldn’t feel with Steve or Sam or even Natasha. Bucky found himself dropping the bear on the bed to return the hug, careful with the metal arm. Didn’t need to squeeze too hard with it. It felt too soon when they parted, Clint brushing the brunette’s hair out of his face.    
  
“Remember,” he breathed, dropping his hand to pick up the bear and put it back into Bucky’s arms. “Don’t squeeze it unless you really miss me. Now I gotta go. Jet leaves for Quebec in an hour. Sam will be here to pick you up. Don’t forget your meds, okay? Love ya.”    
  
Bucky felt a familiar ice-cold water shock run through him in the same manner that a shock ran through him when Clint said he loved him. He knew that, but he didn’t know what type of love Clint meant. Did he love him in the same manner he loved Natasha? As a platonic soulmate? Or Kate or Bobbi in best friends? He never told and Bucky never asked, too afraid to honestly know. Bucky dropped his eyes down to the bear and stroked the amber colored fur out of his eyes, scoffing.    
  
_ “As if I’ll miss you.” _   
  
Sam came and picked Bucky up an hour later with Natasha and dinner. Bucky pretended to converse with them, even letting Natasha touch his knee in an attempt to comfort when Bucky seemed a little distant. She seemed to stay longer than normal when she came over for company. Bucky suspected it was because of him. There was a way that she looked at him that he couldn’t  _ quite  _ pin on the spy. Maybe pity, but Bucky tried to ignore it. Until Sam started to dote on him about eating an extra slice of pizza or changing to a movie he wanted to watch. He just stood up abruptly from the couch and stalked back to his temporary bedroom.   
  
“I’m going to bed.”   
  
He shut the door on them and closed his eyes with his head leaning back against the wooden frame. He was fine. He didn’t see why they were worrying about him. Sure, he’s grown attached to Clint over the past few months, but that’s nothing new. Clint was the first person who could make him laugh when he was back stateside with a more sane brain. He was the first person who made him smile even by doing some stupid trick with his arrow. And when Bucky never went home, Clint didn’t seem to mind, so he stayed.   
  
And bless Sam and Steve, but they worried about him too much. Doting mother hens who were too stupid to see they liked each other while doting on him. He was  _ fine.  _ He was just tired, he didn’t miss Clint. Today was a stressful day with helping Clint pack and he didn’t sleep well the night before…   
  
_ Fuck it,  _ okay. He missed Clint, but he wasn’t sleeping with that stupid bear that was on top of the dresser. It could stay there with his big, creepy eyes and watch him.   
  
Habit caused him to check his phone before going to bed, knowing Steve would have at least sent him a text before their phones were turned off.    
  
**Buck, I’m glad you went to stay with Sam. He’ll take care of you. I know, I know you don’t need it, but it leaves me at ease. When we’re back, all of us will go to a baseball game. I promise. Like when we were kids, I’ll even buy you all the hot dogs you could eat until you vomit again. It’ll be fun to try to explain the game to Thor. - SR** **  
** **  
** “I don’t  _ need  _ a babysitter,” Bucky scoffed at his phone, not caring if Natasha or Sam had heard him. He rolled his eyes, but he knew Steve meant well. Maybe Clint would agree to go, even if he said baseball bored him. Even if Bucky took personal offense to that. Clint would look adorable dressed up in a baseball uniform. That hat crammed over his blonde hair, the sunshine bringing out the freckles on his face.   
  
Giving himself a few seconds, he finally clicked on Clint’s message, unaware he was holding his breath as his eyes scanned over the text again and again.    
  
**I know you don’t like these last texts because you said they feel like final words or whatever, but Steve was texting you and I couldn’t look like the fool not texting you. Did you know Steve is actually a pretty good texter? Tony insists he types and texts like an old man. He mentioned something about a baseball game and I feel like if I say no, I’m gonna wake up in the field anyway and my naked ass will** **_not_ ** **be on that screen again. So I’ll go. Only to see you vomit from eating so many hot dogs. CB** **  
** **  
** **Just remember, squeeze the bear, okay? I’ll be back soon. We can even watch Tangled when I’m home. And I won’t complain when you sing along or /insist/ it's the best Disney movie when obviously it's Brave. CB**

**  
** Bucky couldn’t help that stupid grin on his face as he read over Clint’s texts or despite how he said he didn’t like pre-mission texts because they felt like a final goodbye, it did warm his heart to know that Clint was looking after him. And how he understood him on another level Sam and Steve couldn’t.    
  
Clint was a breath of fresh air.   
  
That night, Bucky didn’t sleep with the bear, instead he cuddled his phone. He didn’t sleep with the bear the next night either or the next either. It wasn’t until the fifth day that he finally picked up the bear from its spot on the dresser. He hadn’t even looked at it --   
  
Oh, who was he kidding? Of course he looked at it. He did every night, but convinced himself he didn’t need to. Clint’s texts were enough. He knew better than to text back. They wouldn’t get it. Or worse, Fury would get it. And he really didn’t need to explain to Fury why he was texting Clint about how Sam was getting on his nerves with his mother-hen attitude.    
  
So, fine, okay. He did pick up the bear. And he might’ve smelled it again. He might’ve held it against his chest, but no one would know. He wouldn’t tell Clint. Clint didn’t need to know that he was right about the bear. About how Bucky  _ did  _ miss him and how he really wished he was holding that blonde bastard and not some fuzzy creature that smelled of lavender and just the barest  _ hint  _ of aftershave.    
  
Okay and fine,  _ fine,  _ he might’ve been crying. Just a few small tears because he missed Clint. He never cried over anyone before. Why now? Was the loneliness that bad that he was shedding tears over a man he was living with? Why was there a void in his heart that no one else could fill but Clint? And why did he have to miss that blonde archer so much?   
  
Bucky took the dive, laying out on the bed while drying his face off. The bear was held close to his chest while he  _ breathed  _ to calm himself down. Just a bear and knowing Clint, it was just some velociraptor noise.    
  
He squeezed. And what he was rewarded with was proof that Clint was one of the sappiest people on Earth:   
  
_ “Is this working? Helllllo. Kate, I don’t think - “ _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “It beeped, idiot. It's working. Just do your message. I’ll pretend I’m not here.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Thanks, kid. Look, uh Bucky, I don’t know how long these things record for. I’m sure I can get Tony to fix it or whatever. Maybe add some date or whatever the hell this thing does to record. I-” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Clint, you’re rambling. You do that when you’re nervous.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Right, right. Look, Bucky. This...mission ain’t gonna be easy. But I promise I’ll be gone just a week. If it's longer, I’ll let you know. And I know you’re not a sap. I know you’re rolling your eyes at me right now, but I just...got stuff to say that I can’t say in person because...I don’t want to ruin what we have, but I also want you to think about it. Just stop rolling your eyes and listen, please?”  _   
  
There was a pause and Bucky would’ve thought it had shut off if he didn’t hear Kate whistling softly in the background. Possibly to block out the fact Clint was being a sap right now, but Bucky, well fuck he was close to tears again.   
  
_ “Right. Here it goes: James, I love you. And I know I’ve been saying it lots, playing around with it, just gauging your reaction, but I love you. I love you in a manner that’s different from Nat or Kate or Bobbi. I love you, love you. Like I want to be with you. I want you to be my boyfriend. I want to be that stupid sap that takes you on cheesy dates. I want to be with you. I want to have a connection that I can’t even begin to explain right now. Bottom line is, I love you and I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t want to force you into a relationship if a) you’re not even ready or b) if you don’t wanna be in one. I get it. You still got stuff to do, recover, and what-naught. But regardless of how I feel, I’ll always be here for you, James. I mean that. I’ll be your friend when you need it, still make you take your stupid meds and take you to therapy and be there with coffee and pizza after. I’ll still be there for you to pick my sorry ass off of the floor when I fall asleep at night or nag at you why we can’t have a dog. I’ll still be your friend, but if you’re willing...I want to be more. Just think about it for me, will ya Jamie? I promise, we’ll be home soon and...we can ignore this whole thing if you want. I love you and I’m gonna miss you.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Are you crying, Clint Barton?”  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “No, shut up, I--how do I turn this thing off? Kate!”  _ _  
_ _  
_ Bucky wasn’t sure if he should be laughing or crying, so he was doing both just to be sure. Clint  _ loved  _ him. And...it wasn’t platonic. He actually  _ loved  _ him. Like...boyfriends. Did he actually say boyfriend? He wanted to be partners? Sure, Bucky knew it was legal now but it still filled him with some sort of thrill like it did when he went behind officer’s backs in the war to make out with Steve or Peggy or sometimes both. And sometimes that cute guy-nurse who looked an awful lot like Clint.   
  
Maybe he did just have a thing for blondes.    
  
Bucky played the bear one more time before sleep thankfully took him. If he couldn’t sleep with Clint by his side, then he’d listen to his voice. It was the next best thing.   
  
On the seventh night, at 9:08 pm, when Bucky was just going to call it quits and curl up with the bear again, there was a knock at the door.   
  
Sharing a look with Bucky, Sam got up to open the door, nearly being knocked over by Clint who just barged in. Clint looked worse for wear, as he always did post mission. His SHIELD armor meant they’d come home  _ straight  _ from the mission, ignoring med bay once again. The blonde had a cut above his eyebrow that needed to be sewed up and was sluggishly bleeding into his brow. His left eye was bruised and his nose looked almost broken at this point. Not to mention a busted lip and God knows what laid under that armor.   
  
Bucky got one good look at him before he found himself being tipped over in the recliner, both of them falling back. Bucky laughed and hugged Clint tightly to him, burying his nose into the man’s neck. He smelled more of sweat and musk than his aftershave, but he was alive. He was fucking alive and he’d rejoice in that.   
  
A glance over his shoulder told him Steve was alive too, holding up two broken phones that looked like they’d been shot through to explain why they hadn’t called. He looked better than Clint with a cheesy grin on his face as Sam pulled him down for a kiss.    
  
“You’re alive,” Bucky laughed, pulling back to cup Clint’s face. He traced over a rising bruise along his cheekbone. “Darling, what happened?”   
  
“Doesn’t matter,” the archer laughed back. His eyes lit up at being called Darling, like a kid in a candy shop. “Did you…?”   
  
Clint didn’t even get to finish, Bucky had pulled him in for a kiss. One where he could muster about as much of his love and passion and  _ relief _ into such a simple kiss. He tasted blood, possibly from his busted lip, but he didn’t care. He rolled them over so they were on the plush carpet, until Clint had him pinned down.   
  
At this point, they both were crying, and thankfully the mother-hens were looking away.   
  
“Yeah,” Bucky laughed. “I listened and slept with the damn thing. And...I love you too.”   
  
Clint looked like he was going to dissolve into a sobbing fit when Bucky said it. Bucky’s hands cupping his battered and bruised face.   
  
“And,” the once-assassin continued, “I think I prefer the real thing versus some silly stuffed toy.”

**Author's Note:**

> It might be because its 2 in the morning, but this fic made me cry. I hope you guys enjoyed our idiots in love as much as I did.


End file.
